My Article!!

Hey all I am sorry it has been a while since I last blogged and you have been so patient to wait for my article!! Thank you. As a note to those reading it you should know that I have made one or two small changes in reguards to the content. The biggest one is the spelling of Caleb's name which was mispelled in the article. The other is when the time of Holy Peace occured. Which was days after Caleb died not 6 weeks. Thank you for your continued love and support. GOD BLESS AND ENJOY!!


                                                                          Finding "Holy Peace"
                                                        After Loss of child, family presses on with life
                                                                          By Jason Nordmark of the Star

   When Caleb Yoder stopped moving his mother Elizabeth knew something was wrong.
   He was usually active but on this day, so Elizabeth called the clinic right away. When they got there the doctors could not find a heartbeat. Caleb had died before he had a chance to be born.
   Immediately Elizabeth was faced with delivering Caleb, but she was still numb from the news of his death. "My body went into shock. My temperature fell and then rose." Elizabeth Said. "I was fortunate that the first nurse I met on the L and D floor had experienced the same thing many years before. She helped me start to come to terms with it. She told me my baby was gone and that I would still be delivering him. She told me he would not cry and he would not wake up."
   LIFE LOST
   As harsh as Elizabeth's news was that spring morning more then 2 years ago her situation is not all that uncommon to the local area. Rolette County's Infant Mortality Rate which is the number of deaths in infants under 1 year per 1000 live births is twice the national average.
   More then 26,000 babies are stillborn in the United States each year. That translates to about 71 per day. Closer to home for every 1000 live births 7-14 die.
   One in 200 American Pregnancies end in Stillbirth and almost 50% of these deaths occur at or near term and often seem to be healthy babies otherwise.
   That was case with Elizabeth. She said "everything was perfect until that day". She already had two healthy children and was following a regimen that eliminated risk factors.
   "I took very, very good care of myself," Elizabeth Said.
   Soon after teh stillbirth of Caleb, however Elizabeth and her husband Nathan were faced with the mental anguish that comes with losing a child. One of the symptoms was common among mothers who have gone through this experience.
   "It's called empty Arms Syndrome," Elizabeth explained, "My arms physically ached to hold my baby, but there was nothing to hold."
   The Yoders were living in Wisconsin at the time of Caleb's Stillbirth. They have since returned to the area settling in the country northwest of Belcourt. Nathan works in Dunseith and Elizabeth is a stay home mom.
   Elizabeth said both her family and Nathan's family traveled great distances on the day of Calebs birth to help support the couple. In addition the husband and wife drew from their religious faith to help them get through the ordeal of losing a child.
   "It was because of this that we were able to get through," Elizabeth said, "Neither of us fell apart. We couldn't. It hurt and it still does but we had two little boys at home that needed us."
   The couple leaned on each other and Elizabeth credits her husband for providing the emotional support she needed.
   "I know that couples who go through this struggle. They play the blame game," Elizabeth Said. "We didn't do that to eachother. Nathan never made me feel like I did anything wrong."
   The importance of that is reflected in national statistics related to married couples and stillborn babies. Around 80% of married couples who have to endure the death of a child get divorced.
   The Yoders continued to maintain that strong faith even as they faced going home without their baby.
  "The first few days were really hard," Elizabeth Said "We had to take down the crib and put away the baby clothes. I know some people keep it up so that they have a place to go and be with the memory of thier baby."
   After a few days Elizabeth said she experienced a kind of "Holy Peace" which lasted about 6 weeks. Prior to that she sat down many times and cried in search of a reason.
   Then, we just knew that God had his hand on it," Elizabeth said "My husband was given a bible verse(Isaiah 51:6) and felt that God was telling that he was in control even if it hurt and that we would see Caleb again someday. And we truly believe that."
   The Yoders also had the added pain of explaining the situation to thier children. Jonathan who was 6 was anxiously awating another little brother. Elizabeth remembers the moment precisely.
   "He looked up at me with his big brown eyes and asked, 'is the baby dead?' When I said 'yes' he cried." Elizabeth said, "Children understand, and parents need to help them through it. They hurt too."
   LIFE SUPPORT
   A program in place at the Wisconsin hospital where Caleb was born helped with their loss. NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP offers free remberance photography to parents dealing with the loss of a child. The Yoders have a picture of Caleb who looks like he is in typical infant slumber. Today the portrait is in a Bible next to their son's ink footprints. Elizabeth and Nathan read books to each other and to their children about their loss.
   All this along with journal writing and joing a support group have catapulted Elizabeth into a sort of Advocates role for families dealing with infant deaths.
   "No one really wants to talk about Infant Mortality," Elizabeth said " I want to put a face to it. It's important."
   One of the frustrating aspects Elizabeth has encountered in this process deals with simpl recognition. She said many people don't validate the existence of babies that don't live outside the womb.
   "Some people say 'oh you can have another child' or 'well it wasn't really a person'," Elizabeth Said. "People will always ask 'What did you do?' which makes us as moms feel worse. We all go through that, but for 50% of stillborn babies there is no reason. It's just something that happens."
   Elizabeth has found solace in online support groups and would love to see a local group get started, saying that the bonding experienced by women of this shared tragedy is not only satisfying but sometimes essential.
   "It helps if  you get together and physically hug someone who understands what it's like to go through this," Elizabeth said. "You have to embrace your grief. Don't bottle it up and pretend it never happened. If you do, you'll eventually collapse."
   Elizabeth said she doesn't dwell on Caleb's death and considers it another part of her life.
   "I can appreciate, understand and relate to others," she said. "My desire is to reach out to other women who need support, and maybe, in the future, bring this issue to light."
   A NEW LIFE
   The Yoders did press on after their loss, eventually ending up back in Rolette County. They also ended up expecting another baby.
   Elizabeth's pregnancy was now considered high risk and she encountered a lot of testing during the days leading up to her due date. Her previous experience not only caused anxiety for her but for the entire family.
   "I was paranoid and hyper-vigilant," Elizabeth said. "My experience had also taken the innocence out of all my relatives pregnancies."
   As the due date arrived Elizabeth recalled walking around the L and D floor with her husband. The pain of the past rushed back as they walked by the nursery.
   "Nathan saw all those empty baskets and he almost collapsed," Elizabeth said. "It reminded him of the empty baby basket we had to bring home."
   A few hours later, Rebekah Yoder came into the world. The nurse gave her to Elizabeth. Mom and Daughter both burst into tears.
   "She was so precious. I had a new understanding and appreciation for a new baby," Elizabeth said "When you lose a baby, it takes a piece of you with it. When we had Beks, I knew this really was a miracle that people take for granted."
   Caleb lives on in the Yoders' hearts and minds, Elizabeth said sometimes difficult during the holidays but she doesn't dwell on her sons death. "It's a part of our life," Elizabeth said "We embraced our faith and that helped us get through it."


I would like to thank Jason for writing this story for us. It was beautifully done. I would also like to thank everyone who supported Nathan and I in April of 2010. God Bless you so much!!!

Work it out...

Hello friends and bloggers...

  I have decided that I am really not all that great at being a blogger at the moment. Mostly because I do not have internet at my home yet...I know we have been here for 3 months and no internet...C'est La Vie...
  To go along with the title of my blog today I am talking about Working out... I began going to the local wellness center two weeks ago with a friend and man do I feel better. I go 3 times a week and I feel great. Mom's you need to try this for stress relief...The treadmill is a great way to Run or Walk of your stress. And BONUS working out gives you more energy. I have not figured the logic here but it is the truth. I will keep you all informed on my progress and tell you how it is going. Today I intend to get real with you all about myself and my Stats in the hopes that as I progress you will be encouraged.

Weight 208lbs...UGH Fat Cow...
Waist line 39inchs post baby pouch
Self esteem~ In the toilet...
Encouragement level...well...

No worries though I have a great gym partner and together we are going to make ourselves healthy!!

My diet of choice is the Belly Fat Diet...14 day challenge starts Monday!!
A girls best friend...Whey protein Iced Lattes made with stevia!!
Remember to...DRINK WATER!!!

Wish me luck!!

North Dakota...the hidden beauty...

  Many of my friends and family have wondered why of all places would I move back to North Dakota. No worries I have asked myself this very question more then once  before we left Wisconsin. I mean I lived here once before and that didn't go very well. I was unhappy I felt isolated, lonely and just plan out sad all the time. Even though I lived only 4 hours from my family I didn't see much of them and my very best friend lived 8 hours away so I never saw her...
  So what is the draw you ask?? PEACE...In the past few years every time Nathan and I have come home to NoDak I have found peace. The setting is ideal. I know from first glance everyone assumes that NoDak is FLAT and well it is...in the middle and southern part of the state. However you get next to the Canadian Border where we live and there are hills and trees and lakes and natural earthly beauty. I have taken a few walks up in the bush since moving back and when you are surrounded by the loveliness of God's Creation and there isn't another sound in the world except your footsteps and your breath...There is peace. Sweet wonderful peace...

NOW MY ADVICE COLUMN!!!

Todays Product feature is ACURE ORGANICS
I found these products at this little shop in Rolla, NoDak.
They have face and hair products as well as lotions and and the wonderful thing called ARGON OIL.
They are free of all chemicals and have all natural fragrances. I love them and good news 5% of the proceeds go to help Breast Cancer Awareness!!

Today's activity for Pregnant Women...KICK COUNTS!!
  It is shocking to me that most women do not even know what this is. It is a way to see if your baby has normal activity in the womb. You drink something cold or eat something sweet and then lay on your left side and count your baby's movements starting about 28 weeks but you can start as early as 24 weeks.
 Each baby and every pregnancy is different. Understanding that babies have sleep cycles can alleviate mothers' anxiety toward kick counting. In general , healthy babies should complete ten movements within two hours and most babies achieve this in less than 15 minutes. The healthcare provider should be alerted immediately of changes in the baby's normal pattern or if the baby takes more than two hours to complete ten movements.


LOTS OF LOVE FROM NODAK!!!

Mary or Martha???

So today I cleaned my kitchen I mean cleaned it. Inside cupboards, scrubbed the nooks and crannies and reorganized. This was quite a needed effort because bless my husband dearly when he unpacked stuff he just kind of threw it in cupboards so I needed to go after him and fix it. As I was working I meditated on the story of Martha and Mary. If you are not aquainted with it it is the story of two sisters who get a visit from Jesus and his disciples found in the Gospel of Luke.

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

So as I contemplated this I considered am I a Martha or a Mary. I am not a neat freak by any means my mother will atest to that. I am not the first person to jump up to do the dishes when we have company I enjoy the time at the table visiting. I don't have to have my whole house absolutely spotless before I go to bed. All that being said. My house is tidy and my bathroom is clean. I have gotten better at this cleaning and organzing thing as I have gotten older which is rather ironic because I have more children.

I do however take the time to be with Jesus. Even if only for a few moments a day. Because what does it matter how perfect things are on the outside if they are a mess on the inside. You could be the most neat freak person. Everything crisp clean and shiney but if you are not living the way Jesus wants you to live and spending time with him daily what does it matter?? You can not take your house, your clothes, or your stuff with you when you die. The only thing that goes with you is your spirit and the relationships you have with those around you.

So I ask you what are doing while your family or friends comes to visit?? Are you cleaning and bustling about or are you taking the time to build those relationships. I am not by any means telling you to neglect your home I am however saying that if you only have an hour to spend with your guest. Spend it with them the dishes or the laundry can wait until later. THEY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. Your family or friend may not...

There's a chill in the air...

My favourite season is Autumn. It is the perfected example of God's creativity. The colorful leaves falling from the trees. The harvest of the vegetables that have grown so diligently over the summer months. It is the time that one can truely stand back and just admire...
  I built a fire in the stove today...With the wood I helped cut the other day and let me tell you that cutting wood and loading it in the back of a really tall truck is a full body workout. My husband and father in law were quite impressed that I could keep up with them. Oh how I love a wood fire. Warm and cozy. I just wanted to curl on the sofa and read a book but instead I did laundry...the never ending battle of life...kind of like the dishes. They never seem to end. I also put a pan of water with mulling spices and lemon slices on the stove and the air smells of autumn. I roasted a pumpkin to make puree part of which will go into the freezer for Rebekah and the other will be used later this week to make Pumpkin Orzo. A Paula Deen Recipe which will be featured at the end of this blog. Which now reminds me I should introduce my family to anyone on here who doesn't know them.
  Nathan Yoder is my husband and we have been married for 11 years. I found it interesting the other day to think about the summer we first dated and the impending engagement. Nathan gave me my ring Labor Day of 2000 but he actually proposed in June. Yes June. The end of June Nathan gave me this beautiful Necklace of Black  Hills Gold and shared this wonderful story of how when he was working at Alco in Rolla, NoDak that God told him to buy it for his future wife and that he felt in his heart that he was to give it to me. I will never forget that moment. It was so sweet and wonderful it was also the first time he kissed me all the world seemed perfect in that moment. It didn't registar at that moment as proposal but now looking back years later that was what he was saying and by accepting the necklace I was giving him the answer he had hoped for. Yes...I will spend the rest of my life with you.
  Jonthan is my Eldest son...He will be 9 this Novemeber and if you were to clone my husband you would get Jonathan. He really is just like his daddy. Kind and caring. Full of curiosity and sometimes stubborn. He has a heart for Jesus and the sweetest thing in the world is when he comes running to bear hug me whenever I cry...
  Zechariah is our youngest son at Present he will be 5 in just a few weeks. He is creative and funny. And BLOND. I don't know where that came from. I am not blond and neither is my husband. So he got the gene from my mom...At least that is where I think it comes from. He has one speed...WIDE OPEN and he is my snuggler.
  Caleb...sweet Caleb was our Angel. He was an unplanned surprise and it blessed Nathan and I when I found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately he went home to be with Jesus before he ever lived outside my womb. October is the Month that I spend remembering him and bringing attention to the fact that Stillbirth is a very real thing and effect more women then it should.
  And lastly there is Rebekah...our Rainbow Baby 6 months old now. Born in the spring and just the sweetest little girl in the world. She joins the ranks of our little tribe with all the love we could possibly hold. Her brothers adore her and she is Daddy's little girl. I fondly call her Bex and most likely always will. Praise Jesus for her safe arrival into this world.
  That's it I guess as far as family is concerned.  If you are a friend of mine of Facebook you will notice a new album among my picture called Capture your Grief 2012 it is to share my journey through pictures of the loss of my son and remember him this month.
   Enjoy the fall take a moment and whisper a prayer of thanks to our Creator for the beauty he shares with us daily. God Bless...

Pumpkin Orzo curtesy of Paula Deen of the Food Network!!
2 servings

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 cups chicken broth
• 3/4 cup canned pumpkin
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 teaspoon honey
• 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup orzo

Directions

In a medium saucepan, combine the chicken broth, pumpkin, butter, honey, balsamic vinegar, ginger, salt, and pepper. Bring to a boil over medium-heat, then add the orzo. Reduce the heat to low, and simmer, stirring frequently, until the orzo is tender, about 15 minutes. Serve immediately.

 

Catch you next time

  LIZZIE

October and what it means to me...

To some October is just another month. It It is the first full month of Autumn and the month we celebrate Columbus Day and Holloween...or maybe not. To me October is so much more then that. It is the month that I use to try to help bring awareness to Pregnancy and Infant Loss as well as Breast Cancer Awareness. It is so frustrating that the one gets out weighed by the other. When both are equally important.

PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS STATISTICS

I have had a hard time finding up to date information in this area that grieves me beyond belief but this is what I could find.

• 90,000 children die annually in the United States before their first birthday.
• Nearly 2,500 babies are lost/year in the United States due to S.I.D.S.
• Nearly 30,000 babies a year are born stillborn. The number of stillbirths that occur worldwide jumps to more than 4.5 million/year.
• More babies die as a result of stillbirth than all other causes of infant death combined.
• Stillbirth occurs ten times more frequently than S.I.D.S.
• 15-20% of all clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage each year.
• The average cost to bury a child is $10,000. Yet the average household income in the United States is just over $50,000/year.

BREAST CANCER STATISTICS!!

About 1 in 8 U.S. women (just under 12%) will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime.

In 2011, an estimated 230,480 new cases of invasive breast cancer were expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S., along with 57,650 new cases of non-invasive (in situ) breast cancer.

About 2,140 new cases of invasive breast cancer were expected to be diagnosed in men in 2011. A man’s lifetime risk of breast cancer is about 1 in 1,000.

From 1999 to 2005, breast cancer incidence rates in the U.S. decreased by about 2% per year. The decrease was seen only in women aged 50 and older. One theory is that this decrease was partially due to the reduced use of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) by women after the results of a large study called the Women’s Health Initiative were published in 2002. These results suggested a connection between HRT and increased breast cancer risk.

About 39,520 women in the U.S. were expected to die in 2011 from breast cancer, though death rates have been decreasing since 1990 — especially in women under 50. These decreases are thought to be the result of treatment advances, earlier detection through screening, and increased awareness.

For women in the U.S., breast cancer death rates are higher than those for any other cancer, besides lung cancer.

Besides skin cancer, breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer among American women. Just under 30% of cancers in women are breast cancers.

White women are slightly more likely to develop breast cancer than African-American women. However, in women under 45, breast cancer is more common in African-American women than white women. Overall, African-American women are more llkely to die of breast cancer. Asian, Hispanic, and Native-American women have a lower risk of developing and dying from breast cancer.

In 2011, there were more than 2.6 million breast cancer survivors in the US.

A woman’s risk of breast cancer approximately doubles if she has a first-degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. About 15% of women who get breast cancer have a family member diagnosed with it.

About 5-10% of breast cancers can be linked to gene mutations (abnormal changes) inherited from one’s mother or father. Mutations of the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes are the most common. Women with these mutations have up to an 80% risk of developing breast cancer during their lifetime, and they are more likely to be diagnosed at a younger age (before menopause). An increased ovarian cancer risk is also associated with these genetic mutations.

In men, about 1 in 10 breast cancers are believed to be due to BRCA2 mutations, and even fewer cases to BRCA1 mutations.

About 85% of breast cancers occur in women who have no family history of breast cancer. These occur due to genetic mutations that happen as a result of the aging process and life in general, rather than inherited mutations.

The most significant risk factors for breast cancer are gender (being a woman) and age (growing older).

As you can see both issues are grievous and no woman should have to go through either tragity but it all to often happens. Typically I wear a pink and blue hair extention in my hair in remembrance but I have not gotten around to doing it yet this year. I hope to within the next week or so.

I would encourage anyone who knows soemone who has gone through either Pregnacy or infant loss or Breast cancer to hug them today.

Thankfully if Breast Cancer is caught early enough there is hope and victory. Pregnancy and Infant Loss always ends in death and as yet there is no cause most of the time or cure. There are people who dedicate thier lives to researching both of these issues.

My Aunt Kim died at the age of 36 from Breast Cancer that wasn't caught in time. She left behind 6 children and many extended family members. She was loved but us all and we miss her very much.

My son Caleb was Stillborn at 32 weeks due to an umbilical cord that was too short combined with "silent" Placental Abruption which basically means an abruption that was undetected and gave away no symptoms. 

Since that time I have had the opportunity to minister to other women who have exprerienced this loss and I pray that my story will encourage women to know that they do not walk alone in their grief.

Thank you for reading and please pray for the women and men that endure these trials each and everyday. Stay Tuned this month for tips on watching for pregnancy issues, Things that you can do if you know someone who has gone through Pregnancy or Infant Loss and ways to keep your "TaTa's" Cancer Free!!! Until then So long from God's Country!!





  

Hey there...

     It has been a little over a month since we moved back to North Dakota which in futher posts will be call NoDak. This blog is to share my journey of bringing myself back to God and finding the healing peace that this place brings. This is also a way for my dear friends in Wisconsin and Minnesota to keep up on what I am doing with my life. This is a general blog about life, love, finding God in the deep places and learning to be the mom and wife God intended me to be. Thank you for reading and feel free to post...

God Bless,

  Lizzie